Bellaspresso
by NOIR Blitz
Summary: Bella's gone crazy. What the heck did Emmett and Alice to do her? Hint in title!


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or Twilight. They are all the property of Stephenie Meyer and I'm only borrowing them for the story. The song mentioned is the property of Kylie Minogue.

Summer was officially here and the Cullens were having a lazy day at the house. Everything was quiet. The serenity of the woods was broken by none other than Bella Swann. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Bella slide down the stairs and bolted down the hallway. She actually crashedinto the wall, the impact knocking her down. Alice couldn't believe her visions hadn't picked this up. Bella seemed unfazed and sprang to her feet with amazing ease. Everyone was shocked – except Emmett and Alice. "Eddiieee! Let's go runninnnng!" Bella giggled and ran straight towards the living room wall. At the VERY last split second, she leaped at it and used her feet against the wall. The instant they touched the wall, she pushed off and did a 180, aiming for the couch. She used the couch as a springboard to jump up higher for the ceiling fan. The fan was on so she grabbed a blade, which spun her for a second. Because of centrifugal force, she was flung across the room but Esme managed to leap across the floor and catch her. This didn't really help Bella because a vampire might as well be a stone statue. She would have bruises and plenty of aches after she recovered. Carlisle sighed and Edward glared at Emmett _and_ Alice. Bella wasn't down for the count – no way. She leaped from Esme's arms and actually hopped up the stairs like a rabbit, skipping every third step. Once at the top, she flung herself at the ceiling fan again. This time, it was ripped from the ceiling and she fell to earth, landing on the large leather couch. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa! Everything's still shaking!" Jasper took a deep breath and hit her with everything he had. She calmed down. It wasn't enough to keep her from trembling violently but she was hit with a wave of depressing fatigue that kept her from getting up. Edward wanted to thank Jasper profusely but was afraid he'd lose his focus. Bella finally collapsed on the couch, gasping for air. Jasper finally let go but was so drained that he had to lean on his knees. Esme held her down. Edward and Carlisle glared across the room. Only two people could be the guilty ones here: Emmett and Alice. Edward picked up Bella's breath: it was unmistakable what she had drunk – with lots of sugar. "Oh, for the love of all that is holy. WHICH ONE OF YOU GAVE BELLA ESPRESSO!" Emmett actually jumped a tad at the sound of Edward's voice. He and Alice immediately broke out in an argument, both hurling excuses at each other so rapidly that it sounded like an airplane engine humming. Carlisle clamped a hand on Alice's mouth and firmly spoke: "Emmett, you will explain what you did to Bella or your new Jeep will be in the scrap yard…" Knowing how much he loved his Jeep, that snapped Emmett out of his blabbering.

FLASHBACK

Crrrr! Bbbbb! Hisssh! Bella heard those weird sounds as she walked into the massive kitchen. There was a box on the floor with words in Italian on the side. She heard Emmett and Alice laughing. Alice: "Oh, that's hilarious. It sounds like something burping!" She smelled Bella before she even entered the kitchen. Emmett grabbed and rushed Bella into a stool. "Now that the human's here, she's gotta try this first!" Bella stared at the dinky cup. "Um, guys, what the frig is this?" "It's espresso. This is better than two cups of coffee," Emmett replied. Bella stared and sniffed it. Wow did it smell strong. She was curious, having never tasted espresso before. Touching it with the tip of her tongue, she was hooked. She dumped two spoonfuls of sugar and some cream and stirred it. Without even taking a breath, she downed it all in one shot. What happened after that was a sight of unspeakable horror. Bella was known for her hypersensitivity to sugar and caffeine. A single can of Coke was deadly. Bella was hit by the Caffeine Express train BIG TIME. She grabbed the table to steady herself but it was too late. Drinking a shot of espresso was the equivalent of turning her from Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde. Now she was transformed into a nightmare that gave the word "hyperactive" a new meaning. She trembled violently as she was introduced to a new universe of caffeine high. Alice was now terrified that Bella would drop dead any second because she could hear her. And her ears told her Bella's heart rate was in the stratosphere. Her body was trembling so badly that she collapsed from her chair. Alice picked her up and jumped back in shock. Bella's eyes had that glassy look. No, scratch that. She wasn't plain old Bella but Hyperqueen Bella. She saw the veins on her arms actually pulsing. Her lips were trembling. Bella broke out laughing and ran into the living room, effortlessly leaping over the settee. She halted in the middle, her head spinning like crazy. "Whee! Everything's spinning!" She then danced, shouting out Kylie's "Spinning around."

I'm spinning around, move outta my way

I know you're feelin' me cuz you like it this

I'm breakin' it down, I'm not the same

I know you're feelin' me cuz you like it this

Ooh – oh baby baby baby

You know you like it like this

She stopped and glared at something. Emmett froze, hoping she would stay put. Without warning, Bella charged straight for the glass door! Alice managed to beat her to it and had her arms around her in a flash. She marched Bella to a chair and made her sit down.

Back to present time:

Edward and Carlisle had no choice. They decided duct tape was safest and tied Bella to the chair. She whimpered and whined about not being able to get up. "Dammit Eddiekins. !" Well, that's what Edward thought she had said. Rosalie was stunned. She didn't know espresso could help Bella talk so close to vampire speed. Carlisle realized if something wasn't done soon, Bella would be headed for a heart attack. He went to the emergency room in the basement and grabbed a suppressant shot. "I really hope that works," Edward said. Carlisle gave her a hefty dose and Edward pressed his head to her chest. Her heart rate started to drop. She finally stopped hyperventilating.

Bella stirred, feeling the all-too-familiar antiseptic air of the hospital. She tried to get up. Looking down she saw that there were leather straps on her wrists. Damn. She needed some espresso. As if to make things worse, the male nurse who showed up to check on her had drunk some coffee and she could smell it faintly on his lips. This only made her stomach growl for more. She kicked and struggled and discovered Carlisle's huge mistake: he had forgotten her ankle straps. She fought and managed to wiggle left and right until she could work her arms past her shoulders. She gnawed at the leather buckle. It was thick and she swore it would take a chainsaw to cut through it because it was old and stiff. She managed to get her teeth around it and pull on it so the flap came out of the buckle. Now all she had to do was pull the strap so the retaining pin would pop loose. She kicked and grunted, pulling with all she had. The strap finally slipped out of the pin. She quickly undid the other. Damn, there was equipment everywhere. She undid the IV drip. There was another drip with some kind of suppressant medication. She was grossed out that there were needles in her arms the whole time. She removed the pulse meter and then climbed from the bed. To her shock, there was even a CATHETER strapped to the bed. Bella groaned and peeked under her gown. Ugh, they even used medical tape to hold it in. She yanked on it and let out a blood-curdling scream. Apparently removing it *cough* was like waxing her bikini line. She searched frantically for some undies or pants and was dismayed to find that nothing was in the bathroom or closet. She didn't care, she wanted that coffee and even Carlisle would regret getting in her way. Bella hid next to the door and waited.

Kev was done with room 616 and decided that he'd double check patient Swan in 614 since it was a nice quiet day. He knocked on the door and entered. He never saw the IV bag pole come down to thwack him on the head. Bella tied him up and swiped his pants, grateful that he wasn't too tall. She rolled up the cuffs of the pants and swiped his ID card. After peeking around the corner, she saw the coast was clear. She ran down the hall and stopped dead in her tracks: Charlie was just now leaving. She waited for her father to get into the elevator. Once it was closed, she crawled along the wall of the attendant's desk so she wouldn't see her. After making it to the door, she pushed it open very slowly so it wouldn't catch her attention. She made it to the second floor, which was where the cafeteria was, according to the map.

With her nurse's stolen jacket and pants, she could pass for an intern. She flipped the ID card around so nobody would see the picture and scanned the cafeteria. Ah! The nectar of the gods: it was in the middle of the line. She walked straight towards it, her mouth watering uncontrollably. Suddenly, a black streak from the right tackled her to the ground. Another streak landed to her left and grabbed her. Damn, it was Alice and Edward. Stupid pixie vampire. If only she didn't have the ability to see the future. Carlisle took no chances now. He sedated her again and marched her back to the room. This time, Edward sat next to her bed while Alice stood next to the window. She wanted espresso so badly. Then something came to mind – Jacob. Her caffeine supply wasn't cut off just yet…

So, what did you think? Please read and review!


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